The power of tears

Have you ever found yourself crying for no discernible reason? If not, you should know that this is one of the strangest experiences I've ever had. To be overwhelmed when you know there is no reason behind it, nothing specific that triggered it, and no hormonal cause, is to be rendered completely powerless until it stops. And then there is the fear that it will start again. Because it sometimes does.

I have had a week of tears.



There are some potential contributing factors: lack of sleep, or of unbroken sleep; homesickness, or at least a strong desire to go home and see family and friends; feeling isolated from the people around me; being so close to the end of term, and yet having a week and a half of classes and assignments to do before then; not hearing enough music; change in seasons (although winter to spring should be a good change). But none of these things have really felt significant enough to explain how I feel at the moment. Maybe it is the weight of all these different things combined - but even that doesn't feel like the right answer to this puzzle.

I have previously written about how I cope, and another time when I felt grey. One of the things I did this week was buy some Agatha Christie novels for my Kindle (love that I can buy so many books from my home, and not have to wait for them to be delivered!) - a purchase inspired by an episode of a TV show I watched this week, which reminded me of how much I had enjoyed reading her novels when I was about twelve years old. There is nothing like a good murder mystery when you are feeling at odds with the world. Little to no chance of a romantic plot line, and a problem which is solved by the end of the book or short story. And realising that the wonderful Agatha Christie wrote 80 novels was a moment of pure delight! So much to read!

In addition, I have been playing my Spanish music - especially the solea pieces. Wish I had a space where I could dance, though! I miss my flamenco lessons, and I look forward to dropping in for a class when I'm back home soon.

And I've finished my sister's birthday present! I even learned a new stitch (or relearned one I haven't used in over a decade, which is kind of the same thing). I love the sense of accomplishment which goes with something like that!

And I had two long chats with a good friend, about how I feel, about what she has been up to, and about some of the really random things we are both interested in. And planning some of what we will do when we get a chance to hang out in a few weeks' time.

The weekend has brought sunshine and smiles. I went to a chocolate factory with four other adults and two children yesterday. And I finally bought that new CD by The Cat Empire! Looking forward to learning these new songs on the long drive next Saturday. So far, I love all four songs I have listened to, and I am loving the fifth one which is playing right now, and I expect to love them all!

Have a look and a listen for yourself!

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